GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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