Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
