i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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