Who wears a wallet chain?!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
