trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
