I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
