OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
