I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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