i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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