That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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