i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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