What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
