Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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