talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
