it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I AM VODKA MAN
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
