If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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