Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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