I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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