I think my vagina is haunted
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Drunk is not a location!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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