I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
