Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
