8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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