so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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