I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
