What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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