clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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