it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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