We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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