I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
