she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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