the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?