great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated