Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian