The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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