I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
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How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
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It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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