thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
jump out the window naked night went bad
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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