People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
