i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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