my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
