Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
