he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
