ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
