Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!