i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
