Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination

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  (614): Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination http://tfl.nu/cegt
  Replies (1) Good night (2117) Bad night (610)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.

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  (813): I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life. http://tfl.nu/zrqp
  Replies (41) Good night (5169) Bad night (1347)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  a queef is a wish your heart makes.

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  (443): a queef is a wish your heart makes. http://tfl.nu/o0oa
  Replies (20) Good night (1408) Bad night (3281)
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  (310): View more from California

  my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.

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  (310): my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings. http://tfl.nu/sarg
  Replies (28) Good night (1364) Bad night (7125)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.

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  (515): I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy. http://tfl.nu/r54x
  Replies (8) Good night (856) Bad night (5874)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college

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  (609): my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college http://tfl.nu/i5zk
  Replies (27) Good night (6255) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.

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  (813): i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit. http://tfl.nu/9lua
  Replies (1) Good night (2963) Bad night (886)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night

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  (206): buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night http://tfl.nu/bj1f
  Replies (7) Good night (3074) Bad night (844)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.

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  (954): You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself. http://tfl.nu/qx75
  Replies (6) Good night (1067) Bad night (3247)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.

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  (513): 4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of. http://tfl.nu/69sj
  Replies (11) Good night (2871) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.

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  (781): They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me. http://tfl.nu/xmpj
  Replies (3) Good night (604) Bad night (1227)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.

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  (541): I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom. http://tfl.nu/egj2
  Replies (6) Good night (1583) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants

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  (417): Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants http://tfl.nu/tk01
  Replies (1) Good night (942) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.

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  (718): He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more. http://tfl.nu/sjjx
  Replies (0) Good night (527) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.

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  (818): I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco. http://tfl.nu/y3nv
  Replies (5) Good night (687) Bad night (255)

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