I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
19 Groupies Confess What Itâ€™s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down