As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
