when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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