how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
