I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The dick lei will go down in squad history
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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