I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
