Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize