4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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