When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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