now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
