We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
