her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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