Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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