yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
