Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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