yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
