i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
