I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Randomize
