You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
