a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
