dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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