Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
