she was so not down for the gang bang
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
