she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
