Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
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