I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
